For six months now I’ve been a victim of sleep jealousy. You know, where other baby mamas gloat about how their babies sleep through the night and I’m over here like:
When E turned 12 weeks old I was stoked because it was that magical age where they say babies are capable of sleeping through the night. At that point E was waking up once or twice a night to eat and I kept thinking, We’re getting close! She’ll be sleeping all the way through soon enough!
Then the four month sleep regression hit and she was waking 7, 8, 12 times a night. When that passed, we had a week of once-a-night wakings until she began teething, and it all fell apart again.
At six months and one week, E is still waking once or twice a night. The first waking is due to hunger and the second is (I believe) habitual and 75% of the time she can soothe herself back to sleep without my intervention. That second waking still wakes ME up since I sleep next to the baby monitor. So for weeks now I’ve been doing this whenever I hear any mother say her baby is sleeping through the night:
It really started to get to me recently that E is still waking in the night. Sleep jealousy is an evil, brutal thing. But this morning, after a particularly bad night due to the six-month shots E received yesterday, a lightbulb went off. I don’t have to be jealous. I can simply accept the reality for what it is. Is it really THAT big of a deal that I have to wake up twice during the night for no more than 15 minutes? Is it worth banging my head against the wall and shooting invisible daggers at any mother who talks about her baby sleeping through the night?
No. No, it’s not.
Today I’m moving forward with a new perspective. E doesn’t sleep through the night and I can’t change that. It is what it is. It could be worse. And until the day she finally does sleep through the night: