B and I were walking into the grocery store this afternoon when we passed a woman wearing her very young baby, who was passed the hell out, in a sling. B glanced at me and asked, “Are you jealous of that woman?” It wasn’t an arbitrary question. He asked because he damn well knew I was jealous of that woman, because E hates being “worn.”
I’ve been trying since E was just a few weeks old. We started with a Funki Flamingo wrap. When that didn’t work, we ordered a k’tan. When that failed, we tried an Infantino soft-shell ergo carrier. When that didn’t go over so well, we ordered a Boba 4G, and that’s where we’re stuck today. E is content for the first three or four minutes, but then she has a total meltdown and we give up.
I feel like I have the only baby on the planet that doesn’t like baby-wearing. All of my friends rave about how much their babies love it. Women all over the internet (damn you, internet!) insist all babies love being worn because they love to be close to their mothers. So then there’s me, having a pity party over here because my baby must not like to be close to me. Right?
Logically, I know this isn’t right. E can’t truly be the ONLY baby who doesn’t like to be worn. Yet I still feel a pang of jealousy whenever I see a mother wearing her very content baby while walking around a store or the neighborhood. From the day E was born, I pictured wearing her while I was cooking dinner, or wearing her to go for a walk in the park, or wearing her while B and I go grocery shopping. I feel like I’m missing out on a simple little bonding experience with my baby, and yes, I’m pouting about it.